Four Is Definitely A Crowd
by Smackalicious
Summary: What happens when there's a wedding at NCIS? Not much. Well, how about when there are two? [McGiva. Tabby. Trust me. COMPLETE.]
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Four Is Definitely A Crowd  
Rating: PG-13  
Category: Romance, Humor  
Genre: Het  
Pairing: Tony/Abby and McGee/Ziva  
Summary: What happens when there's a wedding at NCIS? Not much. Well, how about when there are two?  
Spoilers: Um, none, really.  
Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.  
Author's Notes: Written for the wedding planner challenge at NCIS Fanfiction Addiction.**

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**CHAPTER ONE**

When Tim and Ziva approached me about planning their wedding, I was surprised, to say the least. They were a couple that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. He was muttering something about computers and I caught a glimpse of some sort of weapon when Ziva went to scratch her leg. But I had to push any reservations about them as a couple to the back of my mind, because as strange as they seemed together, they were also happy, and they had asked me to plan their wedding. It's not like I could pass on a job.

The first time I met them was the day we were to look at possible venues for the ceremony itself. They weren't interested in a traditional wedding, and didn't want it to be something too flashy, because they're federal agents and really didn't want any extra attention.

They walked into my office, Tim's hand hovering over the small of Ziva's back, a smirk planted on her face.

I stood to greet them. "Hi. Gretchen Overby at your service." I stuck my hand out to them, and Ziva was the first to take it, almost crushing it in her tight grip.

"Ziva, I think Miss Overby here would like to come away from this wedding uninjured," Tim spoke up upon seeing the look of distress on my face.

"Oh!" Ziva quickly released my hand. "I do apologize. Training." She nodded.

I shook out my stinging hand, my eyebrows raised. This was certainly going to be an _interesting _wedding, there was no doubt about that. I motioned to the chairs in front of my desk. "Please sit."

Tim pulled out Ziva's chair for her and I smiled. They were really a cute couple, despite their obvious differences.

"So, we were thinking something along the lines of a . . ." Tim started, but was quickly interrupted by his fiancee.

" . . . wedding in the park," Ziva finished, patting Tim's hand.

I had to smirk myself. It was obvious who had the upper hand in this relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

"Hello, this is Gretchen. How may I help you?"

"Gretchen, it's Tim McGee."

Ah, yes, my groom-to-be. "Tim! How are you? Have you and Ziva changed some plans that I need to know about?"

He paused. Oh boy. This could be interesting. I hoped he wasn't cancelling. Work had been slow, and I desperately needed this job. After all, if I could plan a wedding for two federal agents . . .

"How would you feel about planning a double wedding?"

Well. I was not expecting that. "Excuse me?"

He chuckled nervously. "Well, what's happened is two of our co-workers are also planning on getting married, and . . ."

"So now there are four of you who work together who are all getting married?"

He laughed again, this time not so nervously. "Yeah, it sounds crazy, I know it. But our team is really close, and Tony and Abby have known each other even longer than Ziva and I have."

I nodded, writing down the new names. "I keep getting the feeling your team isn't like many of the others there at NCIS."

I could almost hear him nodding on the other end of the phone as he responded. "Oh yeah. You could say that. It's really something you have to see to believe."

"Well, then, I have an idea."

"What's that?"

"How about I come visit your workplace, so I get an idea of how you'd like this wedding to go? I mean, now that there are four of you, meeting with everyone at one time is going to be more difficult, and I'd like to get a feel for how you all mesh."

"Huh. Well, I'd have to check on that with the Director . . ."

"Great! I'll be there Tuesday. Nice talking to you again, Tim."

"But . . ."

I hung up the phone before he could say anything else. With a group like this, he was right – I _had _to see it to believe it, and I wasn't about to pass up the chance to browse a federal agency. Yes, something told me this event was going to keep me busy – and interested – for quite some time.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: This chapter's a bit longer. And Tony and Abby are finally here! _**

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**CHAPTER THREE**

As Tuesday morning arrived, I slipped my tote bag of wedding catalogues and books of contact numbers over my shoulder, ready for my trip to NCIS. This really was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity – the chance to wander around a federal agency didn't come around every day, and planning a wedding for federal agents didn't happen often, either, especially when it was a double wedding between two couples on the same team. I just knew that this would be the event of my career, assuming, of course, that the couples didn't screw up anything.

I showed my identification to the guard and he issued me a visitor's pass, then asked where I was headed.

Well, that was a good question. Tim and Ziva hadn't really mentioned where exactly I was supposed to be going.

"I'm planning a wedding for two couples . . ."

The guard started nodding before I could even finish. This must have been something everyone knew about. "That would be Gibbs' team. I'll show you the way."

He started to walk away, and I quickly hurried to follow him. This would be a good chance to get some insight into the couples that I may not have gotten otherwise. "So, tell me about this team. Apparently they're rather tight-knit."

He hit the call button on the elevator and nodded. "Myself, I've never seen a team that meshes so well. I mean, working together is one thing, but this team does pretty much everything together. It's kinda weird, really. Especially when you think about how different they all are."

I just nodded along with his words. This wedding may prove some difficulty, with all I keep hearing, and what I've seen, but if there's one thing I love, it's a challenge.

The guard ushered me forward as the elevator opened to a floor bustling with activity. "This is where Gibbs' team is set up. You'll either find them here or in the lab. Or autopsy." I gave him a look. "Don't ask. Would you like me to find Agent Gibbs for you?"

I shook my head. "No, I think I'll manage. Thank you for all your help."

He nodded briefly and retreated to the elevator. I turned back to the room at which I had arrived. Agents sat at nearly every desk, typing furiously, reading files, talking on the phone, or mingling with co-workers. I caught a glimpse of Ziva's curly head of hair and headed in that direction.

"Ziva!"

She jolted, surprised by my arrival, and turned to greet me. "Gretchen! What a lovely surprise." She looked a bit confused. "What are you doing here?"

Hmm, apparently there were some communication issues between her and Tim. Something to keep in mind for the reception, surely. "Tim called me, mentioned something about planning a double wedding . . .? Any of this sounding familiar?"

She laughed, sounding relieved. "Oh, of course. I just wasn't expecting you to show up at our workplace."

"What can I say? I'm one of those take-charge kind of girls." God, look at who I'm saying this to. She could probably kill me right now and no one would question her because she's a trained assassin. I better not screw up this wedding . . .

She laughed again, and thankfully sounded pleased. "That makes two of us." She looked around, presumably for a sign of Tim, or maybe just for a reprieve from the conversation. She turned back to me. "Have you met Tony and Abby yet?"

"No, I was hoping you and Tim could introduce me," I said, and I hoped the next words out of her mouth were something regarding taking me to see the entire team in action.

"Well, I do believe Abby is in her lab, and I'm sure we'll find Tony there, as well." She leaned in, as if to tell me a secret. "These days, we find Tony down there a lot, though Gibbs would have his donkey if he found out."

"It's ass, Ziva," came Tim's voice as he entered the room and the conversation.

She turned to him, a perplexed look upon her face. "I thought donkey and ass were interchangable."

"They are, but in this case, they're not," Tim explained gently.

She turned to me. "I don't know how you Americans understand your own language sometimes."

I couldn't help it. I had to chuckle. "It's quite the interesting specimen, that is very true. Now, you were saying?" I hated to break up their discussion, but I had a feeling it would go on for quite some time if I didn't say something. Plus, I was eager to meet my other couple.

"Right," Ziva said, holding up a finger. "I was taking you to meet Tony and Abby." She veered me toward the elevator, and then Tim spoke.

"Uh, Ziva, now's probably not the best time."

She turned back to him. "Why? What's happened now?"

He let out a sigh. "Bert's missing."

"Your point?" she asked, and the only thing I was wondering was who Bert was.

"Abby's kinda freaking out. You know how much Bert means to her."

"Excuse me," I broke in. "Who's Bert?"

Ziva shook her head in frustration. "Abby's hippo."

"Excuse me?" That was not exactly what I was expecting. I thought maybe a family member, close friend . . .

Tim nodded, filling in. "Abby has this stuffed hippo named Bert."

"He farts," Ziva added, also nodding.

Ooookay. This wedding was getting weirder by the minute. "So her farting stuffed hippo is missing." They both nodded. "And she's very upset about this?" They nodded again. "Well, it's just a stuffed animal . . ."

A loud gasp from behind me interrupted my thought process. I turned to find a woman dressed in Goth attire, her black hair in twin pigtails, tears streaming down her face. She was escorted by a very handsome man in a designer suit.

"I don't know who you are, lady, but Bert is _not _just a stuffed animal," the Goth informed me, shaking her finger at me.

I stepped back, wide-eyed and confused.

"Gretchen, meet Tony and Abby," Tim announced, and my eyes flew to his face. "Tony, Abby, meet Gretchen Overby, our wedding planner."


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews so far! They are much appreciated. :)_**

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**CHAPTER FOUR**

Things improved after the hippo incident, as it was discovered Tony had accidentally misplaced Bert after a trip to Abby's lab following an emotionally draining case (apparently everyone turned to Bert for some comfort, or at least Tony and Abby did), which I'm sure earned him a night or two sleeping on the couch. Abby apologized to me promptly, enveloping me in a hug that threatened to crush my ribcage, and Tony offered to take me to a movie sometime, which I suspect was more for his pleasure than mine, as he kept quoting movies the entire time I was talking to him.

So now it was time to meet with the rest of the team, get their thoughts on what would be some good ideas for this group.

My first meeting was with Agent Gibbs, and I have to admit to a bit of trepidation, as he came off a bit rough, and was drinking coffee the way most people drink water. He refused to sit to talk to me, so we stood off in a hallway at NCIS, as he refused to leave headquarters, as well.

"So, Agent Gibbs, Tim and Ziva had mentioned a wedding in the park, and expressed interest in traveling for their honeymoon . . ."

"You know what, Gretchen?" he interrupted me, crushing his cup and tossing it in a nearby trash can. "I don't even want to know. Those two can do whatever the hell they want to do. It doesn't concern me."

I narrowed my eyebrows at him. He wasn't getting out of this that easily. "I believe it does, Agent Gibbs. These two, not to mention Tony and Abby, Abby especially, were very adamant that you be included in all the plans."

"Why?" He gave me a look that said I was wasting his time.

I let out a sigh. "I would assume it's because they trust you, look up to you. You mean everything to these four, and they want you to be involved."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. But I'm not picking out any flowers."

I smirked triumphantly. I knew I could break him down. "Of course not. The ladies made it very clear you were to be nowhere near the floral arrangements. They just wanted you to be included."

"Well, that's sweet," he said, already walking back to the bullpen, "but if you'll excuse me, I'm sure there are some Naval crimes somewhere to be investigated."

"And I thank you for taking the time to listen to me," I called after him, and received a dismissory hand wave in return. I smirked to myself. Now that I had gotten Agent Gibbs down, the rest should be easy as pie.

My next stop was Director Jenny Sheppard's office. I had managed to come to NCIS on a fairly uneventful day, so she wasn't horribly busy, and had agreed to talk to me for a short while, just to get her take on the couples.

I jogged up the steps to her office, my eyes taking in the bustle of activity on the floor below, then entered her secretary, Cynthia's, office. The posh digs of the Director's office were quite a change from the busy bullpen a story beneath, and I couldn't help but start at the difference.

Cynthia smiled at me. "You must be the wedding planner."

I nodded, and realized she might have some insight into my couples, as well. "Yes, yes, I am. Gretchen Overby." I held my hand out for her to shake, and she politely took it, offering a brief pump. I stole a glance at the Director's door, then turned back to Cynthia. "So, you know my clients well?"

She shook her head, but remained smiling. "Not as well as I would perhaps like to." I raised my eyebrow at her, causing her to explain – just what I was hoping for. "Agent Gibbs has a very unique team. They're not your typical NCIS agents."

I nodded, eyebrows narrowed. "How's that?"

"Well, you have Agent DiNozzo, who's a complete misogynist pig . . ." I raised an eyebrow. "Well, used to be. Then there's Agent McGee, basically Tony's complete opposite, a computer nerd and published author." My eyes widened. She nodded. "Yes, Agent McGee has a book published under the penname Thom E. Gemcity."

I gasped in realization. "I can't believe Tim didn't tell me that! He's world famous!"

Cynthia nodded. "And that's precisely _why _he didn't mention it, I'm assuming. Agent McGee is a pretty unassuming guy. He doesn't like a lot of attention."

I nodded. I was glad I had decided to talk to Cynthia. She was giving me a lot of good insight. "And what about the ladies?"

"Well, there's Officer David, who isn't even an actual NCIS agent." I gave her a curious look, and she explained. "She works for Mossad, out of Israel." Ah, that explained her troubles with American idioms. "She's a trained assassin, and sometimes I think she has troubles understanding the concept of, 'Bring 'em in alive.'" My face must have registered my shock, because she soon added, "That only relates to suspects, don't worry." I still felt little comfort, despite her assurances.

"And last but most definitely not least is Abby. Abby is, well, she's Abby. She's the only person at NCIS allowed to break the dress code, and it's all because of Gibbs. He's like a second father to her. The one thing you want to know about Abby is she looks scary, but she's probably the nicest person you'll ever meet – at least, unless you mess with something or someone she loves. Then watch out." I nodded, remembering the Bert incident. "Oh, she also likes to give hugs. A lot." I grimaced, remembering the hug she had given me. My chest still hurt from it.

"Thank you, Cynthia," I said, reaching over to grasp her hand again.

She smiled warmly. "No problem. I'll ring the Director to let her know you're here."

She picked up her phone and I wandered over to the window, glancing down at the bullpen. Tim and Ziva were sitting close together, studying Tim's computer screen. I smiled to myself as I saw Ziva's hand resting gently atop Tim's. They probably took advantage of moments like these to get in some subtle physical touching, since overt PDAs are generally probably frowned upon in the workplace.

"Ms. Overby?" I turned to see Cynthia standing at the Director's door. "The Director will see you now."

I smiled my thanks and entered Director Shepard's office. There, I saw the Director herself, sitting behind a massive desk, smiling at me. She stood to greet me.

"Hello, Ms. Overby. It's very nice to meet you." She stuck her hand out to be shook, and I took it, liking her already. She motioned to a set of chairs in front of her desk. "Please, sit." I did, and she took the chair across from me. "So, what can I help you with?"

"Well, you obviously know all the agents." She nodded. "I just wanted to get some insight into them, what they'd want at their wedding."

Jen gave me an amused smile. "I think you're better off asking them what they'd want at the wedding. But I see what you're getting at. Tim and Ziva, they're a bit of an odd match, I'll agree, and then Tony and Abby . . . There are odder couples I'm sure. I just don't know where."

I laughed gently. Yes, Jen was definitely mellower than Agent Gibbs. "Is there anything I should avoid at all costs?" I figured I'd ask now before doing something that would cause trouble in the future. The last thing I needed was this job taken from me by some stupid mistake I made.

Her eyes darkened suddenly. "Just do as they wish. Don't assume anything. And don't question what they want – these four have been through a lot, and to deny them anything on what could be the biggest day in all of their lives would be tragic."

"Um, okay, I'll remember that." Boy, things sure got serious quickly.

She shook her head, clearing her eyes of any retribution. "I'm sorry, Ms. Overby . . ."

"Please, call me Gretchen."

"Gretchen. I must apologize. I'm used to working in a very high-stress environment, where my employees' lives are in danger every day. Your question simply brought me back to my professional self."

I nodded in understanding. "It's okay. It must be difficult to make that transition, and I'm not fully expecting you to."

"Thank you," Jen said softly. Just then, her phone rang and she gave me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. Business calls."

I stood, following her lead, and shook her hand again. "Quite alright. You've provided me some very useful information, Director."

"Call me Jen," she insisted, and I smiled. It was good to be on a first name basis with the Director of NCIS, I had to admit.

"Right. Jen. Thank you again." I turned and exited her office, eager to meet others and discover more about the inner workings of my wedding party.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I didn't win the challenge. :( But the fic that won was very good and very deserving. :)_**

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**CHAPTER FIVE**

Tim and Ziva had been kind enough to take me to meet the team's medical examiner, a Dr. Mallard, who insisted I call him "Ducky." They were very eager for me to meet him, and I wondered if there could possibly be anyone more surprising than Abby waiting for my introduction.

We entered autopsy, Tim and Ziva chattering excitedly between themselves, and they called to an older man across the room, who was hovered over a collection of belongings on one of the autopsy tables.

"Ducky!" Tim called, a smile in his voice. "We have someone we'd like to introduce you to."

He looked up from his recorder and quickly clicked it off. "Oh, wonderful." I smiled at his charming accent, and he walked to us. "And who, pray tell, would this lovely lady be?"

"This," Ziva spoke up, "is our wedding planner, Gretchen Overby."

"Hi," I said, amusement in my voice. This team was getting more interesting by the minute.

"Why, it is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Overby," Ducky said, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

I blushed. He really _was _charming, that much was obvious. "Please, call me Gretchen."

I glanced at Ziva and Tim and saw them exchanging grins. Tim turned back to us and continued. "Ziva has asked Ducky to walk her down the aisle." I turned back to the doctor, surprised. He was nodding, smiling genially. "And Abby has asked Agent Gibbs to walk her down the aisle."

I turned back to Tim, suddenly confused. "So how is that going to work? Who's going in first?"

"We haven't exactly figured that out yet," Ziva admitted, her hands nervously fiddling in one of Tim's pants pockets.

I raised an eyebrow at them. "Well, it's something that's fairly important, so you should figure it out quickly. I mean, I can still do my job without knowing who's going in first, but you all need to figure that out on your own."

"We can't decide," Ziva spit out, and Tim shot her a tiny glare. She shrugged and removed her hand from his pocket, then continued. "We were discussing it and thought an uninvolved third party may be better suited to make this decision."

I gave her a look. "You want _me _to decide what order you girls walk in?"

Both Tim and Ziva nodded.

I groaned. "Well, I can't make a decision like that."

"Please, Gretchen," Tim begged me. "We want this to be perfect. You have to choose."

I wanted to back down again, but the puppy dog look he was giving me made me melt, and I found myself consenting to their plan. "Fine. Fine, but I'll need to observe a rehearsal of the ceremony with all the options before I make any final decisions."

"Of course," Tim said, looking relieved. He turned to Ziva and took her hand in his, squeezing it, then looked back to me. "We'll go make arrangements with Tony and Abby."

They exited the morgue hand-in-hand, headed for Abby's lab, and I turned back to Ducky. "So, I don't suppose you have any interesting stories to tell about these four?"

He chuckled, leading me towards the door, flicking off the lights as we exited. "Oh, my dear, more than you could possibly imagine."


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

Ducky led me to Abby's lab, where we found the quartet eagerly discussing the wedding. Abby was bouncing around the lab, a large cup in her hand, while Tony sat back, grimacing at her hyperness. Tim and Ziva were standing to the side, Tim's hand wrapped protectively around Ziva's waist. I smiled at the scene.

"Abigail," Ducky called out, causing Abby to stop in her tracks and look over at him.

"Oh, Ducky, have you heard?" Abby squealed, bouncing over to him. "Gretchen's going to help decide the order we walk in!" She continued to bounce in place, now sucking on the straw of her drink.

Tony walked over to her, chuckling, and placed an arm around her shoulders. "Abby's had a few too many Caf-Pow!s today," he explained. "We really are very appreciative of everything you're doing for us, Gretchen, but this really isn't as big of a deal as the girls are making it out to be . . ." He was interrupted by two fists socking him in the chest, one belonging to Abby and the other to Ziva. His mouth opened in pain, and he managed to get out, "As I was saying, it is a huge ordeal and we are very glad we don't have to make this stressful and very very important decision."

"That's better," Abby said, rubbing the spot where she had punched him. "I'm sorry, baby, did I hurt you?"

He shook his head, a pained look still on his face. "No, no, I think it was more the work of the Bionic Woman over there and her fists of steel."

Abby turned to glare at Ziva, who gave her an innocent pout. "What? I didn't hit him that hard."

My eyes widened. This seemed to be the norm around here, and in that case, I was kinda weirded out.

Tim patted Ziva's shoulder. "Ziva, dear, I think you forget your own strength sometimes."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'm sorry, Tony. I can't help it that you're a chimp."

Laughter sputtered from my mouth, as well as from Abby's and Tim's, as Tony glared at her. "The term is wimp, Zee-vah, and I am not. The stomach is a very sensitive area . . ."

"I don't know, Tony," Tim butted in, still grinning. "I've seen some of the stuff you eat. Your _stomach _must be made of steel, not Ziva's hands."

"Thank you, Tim," Ziva said, pecking him on the cheek, then smirking at Tony.

He glared at the pair. "Sure, side with her."

"It's okay, Tony," Abby consoled, still rubbing his stomach, "I still love you."

"Yeah, and you're not a bully," he mumbled in a childish voice, snuggling into her.

Tim and Ziva rolled their eyes, and I continued to look on in amusement. I wasn't about to break this up by talking about business – I wanted to see what happened next!

Finally, Ziva let out a sigh. "I said I was sorry. I don't know what else you want. Unless," a devious smirk suddenly appeared on her face, "you'd like me to kiss it and make it better?" She raised a suggesting eyebrow at him, and my eyes widened.

Tony looked intrigued by the offer, and Abby looked ready to pounce upon her competition, when Tim spoke up, a panicked look upon his face. "Gretchen! What did you have in mind for the rehearsal?"

I caught sight of his relieved look as Tony and Ziva turned their attention on me. Abby, however, still looked intent on murder, and was latched firmly to Tony's arm. I knew I needed to distract the lab tech from doing some serious damage to her friend – though I'm sure Ziva could hold her own in a fight. She is a trained assassin, after all.

"Um," I was still worried about that look on Abby's face . . . "how about we all meet this weekend at the park for a mock ceremony? Assuming the entire wedding party is available, of course."

The look of hostility on Abby's face vanished, thankfully, and they looked to each other, murmuring among themselves. Finally, Tim turned to me. "We'll have to check with Gibbs and Ducky . . ."

"And Palmer and Fornell," Abby added, and my eyes turned to her.

"Don't forget Agent Lee and the Director," Ziva announced, and I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows.

"Is that it?" I asked, and they all nodded. "And who would Palmer and Fornell and Agent Lee be?"

Abby sighed and stepped forward, taking my arm and leading me towards the door. "I see we still have some introductions to make."

I looked back at the remaining trio to gauge their responses, and saw Abby give them a dirty look and mouth, "Naughty!" which caused me to bite back a smile.

"Come on, Gretchen," Abby sighed, now pushing me to the door. "We've got a long day ahead of us."

I caught the eyes of my other clients and found them all smiling and waving. I waved back and watched their faces disappear out of my range as Abby directed me to our next destination, to meet with the remainder of the wedding party.


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: This is the last actual chapter of the story. The next chapter is an epilogue. And they are both REALLY LONG, lol. Hope you're still enjoying, everyone!_

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Unfortunately, none of our remaining party members were available to meet with that day, Fornell being away at his own job (which I discovered as being at the FBI – wow! Now my name was _really_ going to get noticed!) and Palmer and Agent Lee both mysteriously having disappeared. I would have to wait until Saturday to meet them, and find out exactly what their roles were in this wedding.

So I spent the remainder of my week making calls and placing reservations, most of which being very easy to secure, for as soon as I mentioned "federal agency," I could almost see the voice on the other end of the line squirming in delight. Though, I discovered with some dismay, that excitement seemed to dissipate when I mentioned just what agency it was for. Most folks I talked to assumed I was talking about CSI, because of the popularity of the tv show. Well, from what I've seen of the show, my new friends at NCIS had their personalities beat by a mile or two, and I never recall seeing a perky Goth lab tech or charming Scottish mortician on the series. Yes, these NCIS folks were real characters, that was for sure.

Nevertheless, I made all the reservations I could, from an Android Lust cover band for Abby to the rabbi for Tim and Ziva's portion of the ceremony. By the time Saturday arrived, most everything was so in place, they could have held the wedding that day and not had any problems. However, we still had a few loose ends to iron out, and I didn't mind waiting – I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect and hey, the longer the planning went on, the more I would get paid.

I made a few last minute calls Saturday morning and left my house, eager to get to the park and see how this wedding would look. Something told me it was going to be completely silly and probably the weirdest thing I had ever seen, but I'd be damned if I wouldn't cry during the ceremony – I always get a little misty-eyed at weddings, even with as many as I attend.

As I arrived at the park, I saw something shocking – there was a hearse parked next to the area we had reserved.

"Oh, no," I muttered. God, why did there have to be a funeral going on right then?!

I parked my car and quickly ran off to find my clients. Perhaps one of them would know what was going on.

"Gretchen!" I heard, and spun to find Abby waving madly at me. She hardly looked the picture of a bride, in a poofy black taffeta mini-skirt and a black satin corset, but Tony didn't seem to mind, as his eyes were wandering appreciatively over her body.

I quickly walked up to them, managing to sideswipe a hug from Abby, and asked, "What's going on?"

Tony narrowed his eyes at me. "What do you mean?"

I gave him an incredulous look and shoved my arms toward the hearse. Was he blind? "There must be a funeral or something going on . . ."

To my complete and utter surprise, Tony started laughing. Laughing!

"What's going on." This time I said it as a statement, letting them know I was serious and wanted some answers, damnit!

Abby shook her head. "That's my car, silly."

"Your car?" This was just unbelievable. "You mean there's not some funeral going on at the same time as our scheduled rehearsal?"

"Not as far as we know," Tony supplied. "Though, heh, that would be pretty clever. Like that movie, Four Weddings and a Funeral. Except that's not what actually happens in that movie. Would have been a hell of a lot better if that really _were _the storyline, though. Just think about it – four weddings going on at once and bam! Someone dies, they have to improvise a funeral . . . Now _that_ would be comedy gold." He nodded, grinning, then saw that neither Abby nor I were amused and allowed his smile to fall. "I can't help it that no one appreciates pop culture."

Abby snuggled into him, distracting him from his sullen mood, and I shook my head at the duo. Jen was right – these two _were _odd.

I heard a set of car doors slam just then, and turned to see Ziva and Tim walking to us. Ziva didn't look any more bridal than Abby, as she was clothed in a pair of cargo pants and a v-neck top. She walked over to Abby and they began making arrangements between themselves, so I caught Tim's arm as he walked past, asking him with my eyes what was up with her outfit.

He shrugged. "I tried to convince her to wear something more . . ."

"Bridal?" I suggested, smirking.

He nodded. "She was adamant that she be comfortable. And I wasn't about to argue with her. The last time I did that . . ."

I raised my eyebrows, and Tony finished for him. "He wasn't sitting for a week. When Ziva says she'll kick your ass, she's not joking. In any sense of the word."

I grimaced. I _really _needed to get this wedding perfect.

Abby and Ziva joined us then, eager to get things started, but we had to wait for everyone else to arrive. Just as I was checking my watch to see where they were, a cavalcade of cars pulled up.

"They're here!" Abby squealed, bouncing around and clapping her hands. She bounced over to Tony and placed a kiss on his cheek, and he grinned at the arrival of the rest of the wedding party.

I couldn't help but notice certain people arriving together and made mental notes in my head to seat them together at the reception. Everyone I had met, and some I hadn't yet, was there, with the exception of that random guard. Jen and Cynthia arrived in what must have been Jen's official NCIS car, if there were such a thing, Ducky walked in with a nerdy young man and an equally nerdy-looking young woman, and Gibbs strolled up talking to another middle-aged man.

"Allow me to make the introductions," Tony announced once everyone had arrived at the pavillion where we were setting up. He pointed to Ducky's friends. "This is Jimmy Palmer and Michelle Lee. Palmer is Ducky's medical assistant, and Agent Lee worked with us earlier this year as a probationary agent." They both waved nervously, and I tried to keep myself from laughing. They were so cute, and obviously had something going on behind the scenes – something that the rest of the gang apparently didn't know about, or at least pretended to not be aware of.

Tony continued. "And over here, we have our very good friend from the FBI, Special Agent Tobias Fornell." He turned to Abby, muttering, "Why did we invite him again?"

A slap on the back of the head from Gibbs forced him to look back to their guests. Fornell was smirking beside Gibbs, and said, "Like I'd miss a chance to see you get married, DiNutso. It was definitely something I had to see to believe."

Tony glared at him, and his scowl grew deeper when he heard a voice from behind him.

"And all of us at the FBI were curious who the unlucky lady was."

Tony turned and directed his glare at the unwanted guest. "What are you doing here, Sacks?"

The man Tony called Sacks grinned, clearly pleased with himself. Suddenly I felt as if I were an extra on the set of some tv drama. Everything was just too surreal to be happening.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Never mind. Let's go through this rehearsal already."

Abby rubbed his arm soothingly, shooting dark glares in Sacks' direction, and led the way to the area where the ceremony would be held.

It really was a beautiful park, and I tried to focus on that and how this place could be set up for the wedding instead of the arrival of a seemingly hostile guest.

"Okay, so here's what we were thinking," Abby started, silencing everyone. "We'll have everyone come in as they normally would, and then Ziva and I will take turns coming in, and then you can decide which you like better."

I gulped as everyone turned their eyes to me. Sure, I'm a wedding planner, and I'm used to the brunt of the responsibility being placed on my shoulders, but I'd never planned a double wedding, let alone one where I'd have to decide the order the brides would walk in, _and _they were federal agents, too! But I didn't want to show my hesitation, so I simply nodded and waited for Abby to continue.

"Let's go, people!" she barked, and suddenly I was more scared of her than Ziva. Everyone lined up behind her as she began to shout out orders.

"First, the grooms walk in together." Tony and Tim looked at each other and shrugged, then wandered down the aisle, looking bored, and causing Abby to cluck her tongue at them. "Not impressed, boys!"

"Then, the Director will bestow her honor upon us by walking down by herself, because she's just that special." Jen raised an eyebrow at Abby's choice of words, then walked down to join Tony and Tim.

"Next, the ringbearer and flower girl." Palmer and Lee awkwardly shuffled out from the crowd and headed towards the trio, looking embarrassed. I couldn't help but laugh myself, as these two were clearly too old to play those roles, but I suppose, what Abby wants, Abby gets. They settled into place next to Tony and Tim, who were grinning.

Abby smiled herself. Things were going great! "And now, for a very special part of this wedding, the secondary ringbearer, because I've seen Palmer lose things," Palmer narrowed his eyes in confusion, "it's Bert! Escorted by his very favorite FBI agent, Tobias Fornell!" Everyone there, including me, had to bite back a laugh as Fornell walked down the aisle, Abby's stuffed hippo in the crook of his arm.

"Hey!" Abby yelled at him, and he turned, looking as bored as Tony and Tim did while they were walking down the aisle. "Bert deserves to be carried with care and delicacy. Like this." She walked up to him and held her hands out flat in front of her, then nodded for him to set Bert down. "See?"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," he responded, and held out his hands the same way Abby had done, allowing her to place the hippo upon them, then walked back down the aisle.

"And now," Abby started again, "Ziva and I will figure out which works better, her going in first, or me. Ziva, you and Ducky lead the way, and Gibbs and I will follow you."

They all did as ordered, and as the group assembled at the end of the aisle, I began to see what a great group they were, and I smiled. They didn't need me to figure these things out for them – they knew what they wanted, and there was no way in hell I'd even come close to being able to predict the kinds of things they'd prefer.

They stood there, waiting for me to give them my input, but when I stepped forward to speak, what I told them was likely far from what they were expecting.

"You all look lovely, and I'm sure this will be a lovely wedding, but," their eyes changed moods and they gave me concerned looks, "I don't think I could possibly arrange this wedding."

Abby was the most distraught. "No, Gretchen, you can't leave us!" she wailed, running towards me with her arms outstretched.

I managed to avoid her hug yet again (one hug from Abby was more then enough to last my entire life, and I suddenly felt very empathetic towards Tony, who surely received more hugs from her than anyone else) to turn to everyone else.

Tony, Tim and Ziva all made their way to me, sad looks upon their faces. "What's wrong, Gretchen?" Tim asked in a soft voice.

I smiled at them. "You're all so different and quirky, and you all know better what you want than I could ever possibly decide. And it really does seem like you have things under control. I wish you the best of luck."

"At least come to the wedding," Ziva insisted, and I saw behind the trained assassin mask she wore while at work.

I nodded. "Sure. That would be fantastic."

They nodded sadly along with me, and I saw that in the very short time I had worked with them, they had grown attached to me. And what's even stranger still, I had grown attached to them and all their unusual quirks. They were an interesting group, that was for sure, but they had a lot of heart, and truly did care about each other. I was lucky to have met them.

Abby broke the silence. "Group hug!"

The boys groaned, as did Ziva, and I tried to be mildly uninterested, but amusement overtook me, and soon, the five of us were huddled in a mass hug.

I heard Gibbs' voice behind me. "Only with my team."

I smiled to myself. Yes. Only with this team.

THE END!!!

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_A/N: Don't forget I still have an epilogue to come tomorrow!_


	8. Epilogue

_A/N: I am so sorry for not posting this yesterday. I ended up doing some other things and didn't have time to post this. But yes, this is the epilogue, and I hope you all have enjoyed the story thus far and will enjoy the "wedding" itself! _

* * *

**The Epilogue**

Two months later (they were _really _eager to get married – and they kinda procrastinated on the whole wedding planner thing, too) I found myself in a festively decorated park, sitting in a seat of honor near the front of the aisle.

As I looked around, I had to smile. Obviously Abby had something to do with the decorations, as little black hearts joined red ones, and there were a couple of huge vases of black roses flanking the first row of chairs. I looked around for some sign of Ziva's presence in the decorating scheme, as well as the boys, but I figured that part would come out in the ceremony itself and at the reception, where Tony would surely make a long and dramatic speech and Ziva would embarrass Tim with some perhaps inappropriate display of affection.

I had a momentary moment of regret as I thought about all the future job openings this could have left for me, but shook it away. I had enough to worry about with regular weddings – I didn't need to plan weddings for federal agents every day, too.

But those thoughts could wait. It was time for the ceremony to begin.

The first thing I noticed was the music. Instead of traditional organ music, I heard a rock tune blasting from speakers, which I later learned was "I'm Alright" by Kenny Loggins, from the movie Footloose. Go figure.

Tony and Tim began walking down the aisle, looking incredibly handsome in their tuxedoes (I'll tell you right now, I was feeling a bit envious of Abby and Ziva, as I'm sure other ladies there were, as well), and suddenly, they stopped. Right in the middle of the walk. My hand flew to my mouth. Something had to be wrong.

Or not.

The two grooms literally "broke it down," dancing and putting on a real show, as they mouthed the lyrics to the song. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was certainly the strangest thing I had seen at a wedding.

And then, once the chorus had ended, they resumed their distinguished profiles and finished walking down the aisle, all while the guests were laughing and clapping at the performance.

Next, the music softened and changed to the official NCIS theme song – I mean, official song of the Navy, whatever that is, and a voice announced, "The Director of NCIS, Ms. Jennifer Shepard."

The guests rustled in their seats as they turned to the back, oohing and aahing over the presence of such an important person. Jen walked down the aisle proudly, looking ever the professional.

Next up were Palmer and Lee, looking less awkward and more . . . flushed, like they had just returned from strenuous exercise. No matter, because they were happy to be there. I smiled to myself, having an idea of what had made them so jubilant.

I winked at Palmer as the two reached the front of the aisle, and he blushed, confirming my suspicions. I held back a laugh as I turned to the back again, but others were having less success in restraining themselves, as it was Fornell's turn to stride down the aisle, Bert in hand – or, I should say, _hands_, still managing to look hard and unaffected, but still proud to be taking a part in the wedding. It was really an unbelievable sight.

The music changed again, and I knew what was next. There was another rustling as the guests stood from their chairs and turned to the back, ready to catch their first glimpse of the brides in their wedding gowns.

However, the sight of them, while breathtaking, had me confused. But first – the dresses.

Both of these untraditional gals had chosen wedding gowns that were just a bit off the beaten path. Abby, being the Goth she was, chose a gorgeous black velvet strapless gown, with a huge full skirt that was split half and half between the original black velvet and a beautiful smattering of deep plum ribbons and roses. She looked absolutely radiant, as did Ziva, who had chosen a more understated dress – if you could even call it that.

The top half of Ziva's "dress" was just like a traditional gown – a strapless white lace bodice (and hey, at least it was white) – but the bottom half, rather than being a poufy skirt, was, in true Ziva style, a pair of wide legged trousers with a chiffon overlay, making it just a bit more formal.

The girls looked absolutely radiant, but I was still confused, as they were coming in together, for one, and for another, the only man escorting them was Agent Gibbs. Ducky was nowhere to be seen. I frowned to myself, but managed a smile when the trio strode past, bright grins on all their faces. Where was Ducky?

I turned to the front after they had reached the altar, and the sight jolted me. I found Ducky – he was the minister!

It was then that Cynthia leaned over to me, whispering, "Doctor Mallard studied day and night to become an ordained minister just for this wedding – he said he couldn't imagine anyone else marrying off the agents he looked upon as family." She sat back in her seat again, and I couldn't help but smile. From what I knew of Ducky, it was perfectly him to do such a thing.

He began the ceremony.

"We are gathered here today to join in holy matrimony the hands of Timothy McGee and Ziva David, as well as Anthony DiNozzo and Abigail Sciuto . . ."

The ceremony itself went by in a blur, surprisingly, as Ducky sure likes to go off on tangents, but I certainly paid attention when I heard him announce that the couples had prepared their own vows. Now _this _I had to see.

Tim and Ziva were first. They stepped to the center, holding each other's hands, and began. Ziva spoke first.

"Tim, when I first began my work at NCIS, you were willing to help me learn, and of that I was appreciative. I was also surprised – you seemed almost scared of me, of my reputation, yet you took my hand and showed me how things were done at NCIS. I couldn't decide if it was just your nature to help, or if it was because you had been in the same situation when you started, or if it was just me who you wanted to teach. In time, we did become more than colleagues. We were friends, spending time with the other members of the team outside work, and then, I'll never forget the day you asked me out on our first date." She smiled and laughed at the memory. "You were shaking and your face was so red, I thought you had gotten into some poison ivy again." The guests all laughed, and Tim started to turn that same shade of red again, but Ziva's words brought him back to his natural color. "But I said yes, and now, we're about to become husband and wife. It's incredible, especially when you consider what I'll do to you if you hog the sheets." She winked at him and he got a worried look on his face, which she waved away as she finished. "Tim, you taught me more than American idiots," the crowd snickered at her ironic mistake, as she obviously meant to say idioms – or maybe she did mean idiots . . . , "you taught me how to love and accept love. I love you."

Okay, it was official – I was crying. And so was Tim, which was incredibly touching, as Ziva still looked bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (and man, I could just imagine how she'd butcher _that _saying). But I predicted she wouldn't stay that way long, as it was now Tim's turn to say his own vows, which we hopefully wouldn't need a computer manual to comprehend.

Tim sighed, let out a deep breath, squeezed Ziva's hands, and began. "I'll never forget the first time you walked into NCIS. You started hassling Tony, and right then, I knew I liked you." The guests laughed again, and Tony frowned in the background. "At first, we were all a little scared of you, Ziva, especially since you were trying so hard to impress us, or make us think you were all bad ass assassin and no woman, something like that, but then you showed us you could be just like the rest of us. During that time when Tony was team leader, the four of us grew even closer, and I felt a pull to you. I felt like we could relate to each other, and more than that, I liked you. You're sassy and sexy, yet you have this soft, feminine side that most people don't know about. It was when I saw that side that I knew I wanted you to become my wife." Yep, there were Ziva's tears. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, Ziva."

They stepped off to the side to make room for Tony and Abby, who now stepped to the center – well, Tony did. Abby was bouncing again, or attempting to, as her dress was interfering with her bouncing abilities. Tony opened his mouth as if he was about to start, but Abby shoved a hand over his mouth and started talking. This could be interesting.

"Tony. I just love you. I always have. I mean, you're _Tony_. And while Gibbs always gives you headslaps whenever you goof off, I love it – the goofing off, not the headslaps, though those are pretty cute, too - because I love everything about you! You're like this big, soft, squishable teddy bear, except you're not a teddy bear, you're a Tony. And you're really not that squishable, either. You're all muscle, and I like that about you." Tony smirked as everyone else collectively raised their eyebrows. "I wasn't sure what to think of you when you first started at NCIS, though. I thought you were gonna be some pretty boy detective who didn't know jack squat about crime scene investigation, and I thought you'd take one look at me and dismiss me as the weird little girl down in the lab. But you didn't. You came in and flirted with me, treated me like you did anyone else, _and _you're damn smart, too. I reckon only Gibbs knows more about crime scenes than you do, Tony." Tony frowned at that, too. "But none of that crime scene stuff is _really _important. I love you for who you are – the movie-quoting, jokester NCIS agent – and I'm so glad you're becoming my husband today."

Tony was beaming as he looked at his wife-to-be, his eyes focused on her and only her. "Wow. Abby. When we first met, I never expected us to be standing where we are today. Any of us, really. But if I do know one thing that's true, it's that I love you. Whenever I've needed someone throughout my days at NCIS, I knew I could count on you, and count on you I did. We had a connection, and it was strange, because we seemed so different, but at the same time, we had so much in common. But you know what they say – opposites attract, and it couldn't be more true in our case." He laughed to himself as he remembered something. "But the look on my mother's face when I told her I was dating a Goth was totally worth it." We all laughed along with him at that comment. "Abbs, my love for you can only be properly expressed through the words of Humphrey Bogart." He put on his best impression. "Here's looking at you, kid. I love you, Abby."

They moved slightly off-center, and Tim and Ziva came back to the center, as Ducky stepped forward, announcing, "I now pronounce you man and wife and man and wife! You may kiss the brides!"

The cheering from us guests began as Tim and Tony simultaneously dipped their ladies, planting sloppy kisses on their new wives. They then brought the girls back up and prepared to walk back down the aisle – as a group. I shook my head, smiling. Those four would never fail to amaze me.

They ran – yes, ran – back down the aisle, arms slung behind each others' backs, laughing all the while, and after the wedding party filed back out (slightly more subdued than the newlyweds, though not by much), the rest of us filed out and prepared to give our congratulations to the couples.

Afternoon slid into evening, and it was time for the reception, which was a small gathering of family and close friends – perfect, considering the people involved. Ziva _insisted _she cut the cake, and was suddenly wielding a knife that came from what appeared to be nowhere.

"What?" she asked upon seeing everyone's questioning faces.

"Don't tell me you had that on you," Tim said.

She shrugged, slicing into the layer of devil's food. "Always be prepared. Isn't that your little Boy Scouts motto?" She pinched his cheeks, still holding the dangerously sharp knife in her hand as she did so.

Tim glanced at the knife nervously as she pinched his cheeks. "Uh, yeah, and could you please put that thing down before you go anywhere near my face?" She automatically placed the knife on the table. "Thanks. But Ziva, really, you think you're going to need a knife on our wedding day?"

She removed a piece of cake and held it in front of her. "Turns out I did, didn't it?"

Everyone began to laugh. She certainly had him there. And then, of course, she made us all laugh harder by smashing her slice of cake in Tim's face.

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the fact that there was probably frosting up his nose, and said, "You are going to get it."

Ziva smirked. "I wouldn't bet on it."

His eyes flicked open. "Actually, you're probably right. I wouldn't risk it." He turned toward the crowd. "My lovely wife, everyone."

We all laughed and cheered, and there were a few wolf whistles tossed in, as well, as Ziva curtsied – and Tim prepared his own surprise. She turned to him and was greeted by a face full of frosting, completely shocked.

We all laughed harder. Who knows what Tony and Abby had in store to one-up them . . .

The night went on and soon it was time for the couples to dance. Their first dance was sweet and had us all swooning along with them, but then Tony and Abby had a surprise in store for us.

"Everyone, come to the center," Tony announced, suddenly taking on a heavy Italian accent. "Grazie, grazie. And now, for the next portion of the evening, Mrs. Abigail DiNozzo." He backed away, directing our attention to Abby.

"Tony and I thought we needed to incorporate SOME element of a traditional Italian wedding in here somewhere, so here it is! It's called a Tarantella, and it's going to be _fun._" I had no doubt in my mind about that. "Okay, so everyone, get in a circle. We'll start the music," she cued the music, and it began, "and now you all start dancing clockwise," we did so, "until the tempo changes, and then you change direction!" Suddenly, the music sped up, and we found ourselves turning the other way, trying to keep up with the music. "And every time the tempo changes, you continue to switch directions, until it becomes too much and you all collapse!" We did as ordered, galloping along with the continually speeding music, until, just as she had said we would, we collapsed into giggling piles on the floor.

We recovered shortly thereafter, and I found myself without a partner for the next dance. Not for long, though, as Ducky arrived and offered me his hand.

And that, my friends, is what led to today, my very own wedding to Doctor Donald Mallard, because there's just not much work left for a 67-year-old wedding planner anymore.

**THE REAL END!**


End file.
